funny & wise quotes and jokes

Wisdom & Fun
Quotes Collection

Old Age & Death

silly, funny & cazy quotations


 Wisdom Quotes

 Wisdom Quotations
 Buddhist Quotations
 Dalai Lama Quotes
 Fun Quotes  

 Funny Quotes
 Funny Dictionary
 Historic Blunders
 Computer Zen
 Computer Crazy
 It's the Economy, Stupid!
 Silly Science
 Plain Stupid, or is it?

 Psycho Psychology

 Odd Language
 Men, Women & Trouble
 Men from Mars,
      Women from Venus

 Funny Wisdom Quotes  

 Common Sense
 Zenny Funny

 Funny Dictionary
 Spiritual Fun
 Buddhist Jokes
 Old Age & Death

 Ironic Stuff.
 A Taste of Irony
 Media and Journalism
 War & the Military
 My Other Websites  
 A View on Buddhism
 Kalachakra Network   
 Other Websites I helped  
 Berzin Archives
 Jonang Foundation
 Lamadans (Dutch)
 Boeddhaboeken (Dutch)
 Maitreya Instituut (Dutch) (Dutch)
 Piano stemmen (Dutch)
 Other Links  

Funny Dictionary excerpts:

Dead, adj.: Terminally inconvenienced.
Death, n. : To stop sinning suddenly.
Funeral, n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears. Ambrose Bierce
Immortality: a toy which people cry for, and on their knees apply for, dispute, contend and lie for, and if allowed would be right proud eternally to die for. Ambrose Bierce
Life: 1) a sexually transmitted disease with 100% fatality rate. 2) For Christians: a test before they are allowed to proceed to hell - for Buddhists and Hindus: the time between deaths. 3) Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. John Lennon 4) Anything that dies when you stomp on it. Dave Barry 5) The confusing period between the confusion of birth and the confusion of death. Rudyh 6) A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. Ambrose Bierce 7) Nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. Bertrand Russell
Youth: the best time to be rich, and the best time to be poor. Euripides

I don't mind dying... as long as I don't have to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Issac Asimov

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
John Barrymore

Ageing isn't that bad if you consider the alternatives.
Maurice Chevalier

Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing.
People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.
Albert Einstein

The average man does not know what to do with his life, yet wants another one which will last forever.
Anatole France

Eternity is not something that happens after you are dead. It's going on all the time. We're in it now.
Charlotte Perkins Gilman

Do not seek death.
Death will find you.
But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.
Dag Hammerskjold

The easy path of aging is to become a thick-skinned, unbudging curmudgeon, a battle-ax.
To grow soft and sweet is the harder way.
James Hillman

You know you're old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Bob Hope

If you worry, you die.
If you don't worry, you also die.
So why worry?
Mike Horn

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
Elbert Hubbard

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Groucho Marx


Eat right.
Stay fit.
Die anyway.

Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.
Charles Wadsworth

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
Sir Norman Wisdom

Last updated: July 6, 2009

fun funny silly quotation crazy joy wisdom jokes