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Q: How do you describe a schizophrenic Zen Buddhist?
A: A man who is at two with the universe
A young woman asked Suzuki Roshi after a talk, "Roshi (Venerable Teacher), sometimes when I'm trying to decide what I should do, I ask myself, 'In this case, what would Roshi do?' Should I continue that practice?"
Roshi answered, "Then should I also ask myself, 'What would Roshi do?'"
Suzuki Roshi washed his feet on the doorstep after working in the garden.
His attendant, who was standing just inside the door, handed him a towel.
She then reached down and pinched one of his toes.
"That is one of the powers of Buddha," he said.
"To see what someone needs and give it to them."
A student once asked Zen teacher Steve Allen,
"If you were given a wish-fulfilling jewel, what would you wish for?"
"To stop wishing," replied Allen.
A Zen master once said to me, "Do the opposite of whatever I tell you."
So I didn't.
Q: How much "ego" do you need?
A: Just enough so that you don't step in front of a bus.
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